my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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