the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Randomize
