dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
this will be a night to untag.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize