This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize