2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
