quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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