she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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