Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize