Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
