Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
