i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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