i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
