You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize