heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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