But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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