I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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