Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
love makes seman taste better
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
