i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
