hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
