and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He passed out mid-signature
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
