I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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