Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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