end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
