I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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