im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
