Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
