How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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