im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
