I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
