he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
