Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
do nipples grow back?
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