I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just cropdusted the office
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
