i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
