69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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