I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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