Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize