I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
