She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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