are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
