shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
