just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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