I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
