So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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