I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
nut hugger
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
