I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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