Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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