Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Boobs are out for the taking
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
