Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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