tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize