i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
