Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
