I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
"it" just moved
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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