I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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