So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
