did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
