After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
