don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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