Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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