you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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