I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
