Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
