We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
