Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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