I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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