I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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