I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I cut my penus on the lid.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
