So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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