I cockslap morals
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
