yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
