I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize