Don't you send me to vm
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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