why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize