I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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