that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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