you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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