What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
