More tranny stories later!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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